For years, I have heard that a wise man uses few words. Talk less and people will take you seriously. Silence is often seen as a sign of inner fortitude. While all of this holds true, it is important to note that remaining quiet is not an indicator of calmness.
I would always admire my neighbor, in his early 60s, who would talk less. Even during his family conflicts he silently listens to others. He interrupts when he feels the need to. He once shared his perspective on such situations, saying, "During moments of argument, people tend to become hyper, and trying to convince them in such a state of stress is futile. Therefore, it is better to keep quiet and wait for the situation to calm down. I also don't feel the need to prove my point repeatedly. I will attempt to explain it once or twice, and if the person listens, that's good. If not, it's still good." Slowly I started believing that his silence held power, and with age, he had gained inner strength. I began drawing inspiration from him and closely observing his actions, with the intention of bringing them into my own practices.
However, one fine day, I heard newly shifted kids in our society talking about the uncle, "That uncle scolded me even today for no reason. He always shouts at us and doesn't allow us to play." Initially, I dismissed their comments, thinking that the uncle was likely trying to teach them something, and the children simply didn't appreciate it. In the following days, I noticed that the children's claims were valid. The uncle would scold them without cause, even when merely passing by. He would state, "I dislike kids. Why have they come here? You also don't talk to them, can't you understand?" As time went on, my beliefs about him began to crumble. On numerous occasions, I witnessed him reacting irrationally, often displaying his egotistical side. It just seemed like he was a frustrated man. The reason for his silence was his age, not his stability.
From the outside his behavior seemed calm but his mind was irritated. We regularly encounter such individuals as the uncle and think it is normal behavior. Just because it is common it does not make it right. Many times we also fake our goodwill by silencing our reactions with a lot of noise in our minds. We think we are doing good, we are happy. However, we are only fooling ourselves. This happens because of ignorance and not being honest with yourself which leads to unhappiness in the long run. Just remember that fewer words do not always mean calmness. A person may use fewer or more words doesn't matter - a wise man uses words with a calm mind.
If you know people who have misconceptions about real calmness, share this post with them!